Ever since the flowery French conquered the earthy Anglo-Saxons in 1066, English speakers have thought it cooler to sound sophisticated than clear.

Take Bill Gates. He wanted to say that the internet had cut out the middle man. But he said, "The middle man has been disintermediated."

Very sophisticated. Not very clear.

Buddhists, on the other hand, think simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. They'd make great ambassadors for plain English. They know that before you can write clearly, you have to think clearly. Which is simple, right?

Wrong. But it's worth mastering. Clients love clarity.  

Plain English As A Second Language is a talk or workshop for writers who call a spade a manually-leveraged soil displacement utensil. Which sooner or later is most of us, right? I hope I've made myself clear.